“No Foot” Pro Bowl Campaign Ends In Bitter Sorrow

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ORCHARD PARK, NY – As the Pro Bowl players were announced yesterday in a nationally televised news conference, not everyone was celebrating. The players, like Buffalo’s Rian “No Foot” Lindell who were not chosen to represent the best of the best we left feeling a bit rejected by their fans and colleagues alike.

“With our putrid offensive production this year, and my numbers still being respectable, I thought for sure the players and coaches around the league would have voted me in. I’ve had a great season, in my opinion. I mean, you can always do better, you always push yourself to do better, but hey, I think these are Pro Bowl numbers,” explains a frustrated Lindell.

Indeed, Lindell has posted some impressive numbers this year. His extra point attempts have been flawless, hitting all 20. His field goal percentage is among the best in the league, hitting 22 of 27. All of his misses came on attempts of less than 50 yds. He was a perfect 2 for 2 from beyond the magic 50 yard mark.

“Yeah, how many kickers were perfect from over 50 yards this season? Not many!” argues “No Foot”, incredulous at this obvious oversite by the NFL and it’s fans.

“It’s just really sad,” he continues, “I got beat out by a guy from the Bengals! The BENGALS! Have you seen their record over the past 15 years?! They’ve been consistently the worst in the league! Well, we are pretty close to that this year… so, again, I ask you, with my numbers on a horrible team, shouldn’t I be shown a little respect? Sure, he’s hit 22 more XPs this year than me, but who couldn’t do that in Cincinnati? I have to kick in Buffalo!”

Lindell is looking forward to the opportunity to display his kicking prowess on the same field this week as Graham who beat him in this year’s probowl balloting. He has said that he will “make sure to let the league know this week who should really be going to the Pro Bowl in February!”

“No Foot” had no comment when asked how he felt about his kicking partner, Brian Moorman being selected as a starter in this year’s all star event in Honolulu.